Costs and benefits
It’s fun having a teenager (yes, really) when you watch them process decisions and experiences like an adult. Or at least the way you hope they’ll think when they are an adult. Take understanding the pros and cons of an opportunity. An opportunity that on face value seems highly desirable, and to not have it would be disappointing. But on closer inspection, if it was missed, would really be more of a benefit.
Here’s the situation. Alice has had several casting calls for modeling gigs in the last couple weeks. Best Buy, a commercial for the Mall of America, a way cool fashion designer. She had a call back for the commercial, and the designer’s ‘people’ were very interested. But in the end, she got neither job.
There was little drama or high emotion over the decisions. But Alice did mention it the other day, with a certain sense of disappointment. And just a touch (but not much) insecurity. To have been cast would have meant fun, fashion and in one case, a bit ‘o cash. And seeing herself on TV in a cheesy (her words) commercial. And rubbing shoulders with an international designer, and a guy with a chain of hair salons in the Twin Cities.
She knows that. But when I asked how she was doing with it all, Alice quickly reflected on what those opportunities would also have meant: another designer with an artistic vision who would want to cut her hair. This time making diddly for the crisis. Two missed days of school, just when she’s getting the year under way. (OK, maybe that one was more my appreciation. But she agreed.)
And the effort was more gain than a loss. She said that because she did the casting calls, she got more experience in navigating public transportation and some street confidence. And her agency got positive feedback about her.
It was very cool listening to her talk about this. I know rationalization and this wasn’t it. She was disappointed but could see the realities, and chalked it up to a good experience, and that the way things worked out was just fine.
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